i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
