I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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