You're my little dorito
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
