When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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