why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Can i not drive my cunt home
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
