i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
