I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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