I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
