Kiss
Puke
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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