you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
