Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
