so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
