he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize