What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
