Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.

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(805): View more from California

Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?

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(913): View more from Kansas

He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times

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(406): View more from Montana

Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.

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(940): View more from Texas

low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.

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