people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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