I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
