K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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