haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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