Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
