just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
