Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
