Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
