Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
