you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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