I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
