Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
