saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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