Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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