they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
