Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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