I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
