i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
