so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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