that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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