honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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