I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
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