...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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