Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I don't deserve a penis
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
