Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
