I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Randomize
