i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
