we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
