hotel room ftw
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
