dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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