I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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