it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
