Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
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He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
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