lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
