That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
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He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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