Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
