I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
