I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
