so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
