so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
