I should be sponsored by Trojan
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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