Don't you send me to vm
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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