i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
