stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
No subtext here. People are naked.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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