How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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