What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
