i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
there is glitter all over my balls
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
