I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
