i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize