is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
