Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Acid is not a monday night drug
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
