you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
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