Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
