so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
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When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
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I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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