My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
