I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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