he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
