just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
